Pawcurious Vet Blog: Pet help, stories, and information with Dr. V

I don’t do birds. I just don’t. I vaguely remember the stuff I learned in vet school, about air sacs and weird one way diagrams of their lungs and bumblefoot, but mostly I view them with the same untrusting wary eye I use for furtive men in trenchcoats skulking down the street.

When someone calls wanting to come in with a bird, I refer them to our local veterinary exotics specialist, who actually likes birds. He can have them. The last time I saw a bird, I was in the emergency hospital and my boss insisted I try and do something for a gasping little parakeet. I asked him what, exactly, I should do. “Give it some fluids!” he said, so I did, and while I was injecting a small amount of fluid in the appropriate space the bird up and died in my hands. Oh, the techs had a field day with that one. The amazing Dr V, who can euthanize a bird with a subcutaneous fluid injection! She turns water into euthasol!

There are few things I understand less than birds, but bird owners are right up there. I’m sure there are many perfectly normal bird owners out there, but the ones I seem to come across are always dressed extensively in beads, fringe, and crazy. I apologize to the normal bird owners in advance. I’m not talking about you. But you know exactly who I’m talking about, don’t you?

Anyway, I have a point, and it is this. I got lucky:

My daughter’s kindergarten teacher has a Great Pyrenees. Her son just adopted a Boxer from rescue. When I drop my daughter off, she whips out her iPhone and shows me all sorts of pictures, which I of course gush appreciatively over; then she asks me veterinary questions, which I answer, because I need to be on this person’s good side. She likes me, and she likes Brody, and she never gives me a hard time for bringing him to school to pick up my kid (and yes, I do have poop bags aplenty now.) She thought my art project story was funny. She is a dog person.

There are 2 other kindergarten teachers at this school. I found out that the teacher in room two, a tall, toned, tan woman, rides horses. Horse people usually start talking to me in lingo, then stop when I’m staring at them blankly, and turn away with a disgusted snort. She would hate me. I know nothing. Horses have big guts that flip around a lot, there is something about 4 on the floor but I don’t remember what or why I should care, and if you mix up fetlock and forelock, they kick you in the head. That’s all I got.

I hadn’t met the teacher in room 3, but she was on the playground this morning with my daughter’s teacher, who introduced us. “She’s a vet!” the teacher gushed to her co-worker, who adjusted the fringe on her shawl, peered at me brightly over her wire rimmed glasses, and chirped, “Oh! Do you see birds?”

Saturday, September 19th marked Puppy Mill Awareness Day.

I know people are generally aware of what puppy mills are, but is everyone aware just how deplorable these operations are? To say it’s heartbreaking is an understatement.

At a previous job, one of our duties was to inspect the animals that a local mall pet store acquired from a, erm, “breeder” as they arrived from the airport. They were always sick. The pet store owner always got mad when I documented their maladies. Eventually he started requesting a vet other than me to do the physical exams, a vet more conducive to his sales environment. And I would invariably see them again after they were purchased, a few weeks later, with illnesses including but not limited to kennel cough, distemper, and parvo. Which they couldn’t afford to treat since they had just spent $2000 on the malti-poo-tzu-apso.

I know everyone here knows this, but it bears repeating. NO REPUTABLE BREEDER sells their pets to pet stores. If you see a puppy in a cage in the mall, it is from a puppy mill, and by purchasing it you are supporting more of this:

I know shelters and rescues aren’t for everyone, for a variety of reasons. Buying a pet is a choice many people make, and that is fine too. This post isn’t about the plight of pet overpopulation, which is a story for another day. This is solely about the horrific reality of commerical breeding operations which is allowed to perpetuate by an understaffed USDA, and more importantly, by all the people who buy from pet stores and keep these mills in business.

I have a client, and I love her dearly, but she keeps getting dogs from the local pet store. She says she walks by and feels sorry for them, and worries about what will happen to the dog if she doesn’t get them. “Well, hopefully they will go out of business,” I tell her, and she laughs. Then she gets out her wallet, because let me tell you I have never seen a list of maladies like the ones affecting her dogs. An incontinent Great Pyrenees. A boxer with luxating patellas. A bulldog with…well, all bulldogs are a mess so it’s hard to say if this one is any worse than all the rest, but still.

Resist the urge. Don’t do it.  I know you won’t, but tell your mom not to either. And your neighbor. And your mailman. And your hairdresser. And all the people milling about the front of the pet store, but if you do choose to do that make sure you’re quiet about it and don’t do it for more than 5 minutes, because that’s about the time the employees notice you and have you escorted from the premises. Not that I would know from experience or anything.

I know, I know. Two weekend blog posts. I’m going to run out of stuff to say this week.

I’ve decided to try something out and see how it goes. On Sundays I’d like to take the time to recognize a company, group, or person who is doing something good for animals. It can be something small, something large, or even just something cool that I thought everyone else might like to hear about too. We spend so much time hearing on the news terrible things about chained up neglected dogs and people putting kittens on the grill and other stories so horrible that if I continue to think about them I’ll lock myself in the closet and cry all day, so instead I’d like to send a little goodwill out into the universe in the hopes that others are cheered by the good work that you all do.

Because I’m lazy, I’m also fine with having this spot be a guest post, if you want to toot your own horn or that of someone else tootable. Feel free to e-mail me through the blog at drv@pawcurious.com if you want to submit a story or a link featuring someone doing good. I have no prizes to award other than the thrill of being recognized here, but feel free to lie and tell people I’m Marty Becker if that makes it more exciting.

With that, my very first Inaugural Sunday Shout Out goes to the people at The Honest Kitchen, one of my favorite pet food companies (and local too!) to recognize their efforts to help pets impacted by the massive Southern California wildfires this past month:

Recently, a batch of The Honest Kitchen’s all natural, fresh food was made using white potatoes in place of the recipe’s sweet potatoes – the first such formulation error in our company’s seven year history.  Because of this mistake we will of course be unable to supply it to our customers.  Rather than destroy the food, we will donate quantities to select  Southern California shelters and animal rescue organizations helping to care for pets who have been displaced by the wildfires that have been blazing in the region.

We will cover the cost for all shipping associated with transporting the food from our manufacture facility to organizations that can use it. Any 401c(3) animal rescue organizations in regions affected by the wildfires interested in receiving the food are invited to contact The Honest Kitchen directly…

So instead of trashing a batch of perfectly good food, they have agreed not only to donate it, but to cover the costs of shipping (which are always pretty significant.) There are many rescues in the affected region struggling to make ends meet right now, so the company hopes to get the word out through as many venues as possible. If you know any rescues in the region who could use this, please pass it on!

Although they only asked me to spread the word about this time-sensitive program, I wanted to also point out that they give a substantial amount to many charities, so kudos to Honest Kitchen for all their great work. The site and blog are worth a look- it’s good stuff all around. Brody agrees.

Argh! September 19th be Talk Like a Pirate Day, me hearties! And far be it from me to keep ye from celebratin’ with your favorite sailor. Aye, I be talkin’ about yer four legged first mate, as faithful a crew member as ye ever can find.

If ye have a dog by yer side, ye’ll never be forced to walk the plank by a scurvy scum swilling scallywag. Aye, dogs be loyal and true.

But if you’re addled enough to trust one of THESE bilge rats to man yer helm while ye sleep, ye be on yer own.

In this episode of On Safari, we follow a curious young Goldenbeast cub as he explores the world around him.

Behold the mighty Goldenbeast. Part Golden, part beast, all hunter.

We first spot the notoriously elusive beast at the water hole.

We sneak in for a better look, trying our best to be quiet.

But our paltry skills are no match for the mighty beast’s superior hearing! He licks his chops in anticipation!

And he springs into attack mode!

Oh no! Tell the cameraman to RUN!

Fortunately he is easily distracted.

Exhausted from this 10 second burst of energy, our predator returns to his nest for an afternoon siesta.

I’ve never been a Jessica Simpson fan, but I really feel for the girl. She goes from It Girl to dumped divorcee, ridiculed as a clingy has-been with a long over career. And then to add insult to injury, a coyote steals the dog her ex husband gave to her right in front of her.

She posts on her Twitter: “Still holding out hope despite the !$#@! that say is it a dumb thing to do. Daisy is my baby…why would I stop searching? I’m a mom.”

Which, well, I can understand. I still look for my Callie. And for the most part, people were supportive. Yet, for reasons unknown, people are cruel and actually take the time to write something mean-spirited directly to her. All the many permutations of Internet Jerkface were on display today.

The Keepin It Real Jerk: “the dog is DEAD. That coyote made a meal of her. You will not get her back. Move on!!!!!”

The angry Cowboys fan: “no wonder you cant keep a man u !@#$!”

The sanctimonious Bible thumper: “Yes two Golddiggers who left God for fame and fortune”

The sanctimonious mother: “You are not a mom. Have a baby then you can say that.”

The wannabe funny person who has to really reach to make the joke work: “If Jessica Simpson’s dog came in a bag it would be labeled ‘COYOTE FOOD.’”

The one with better comic skills but still totally inappropriate: “let’s b real honey it’s dead! She is giving reward money if found! Which piece?”

And that’s just from the last couple of hours. Poor Jess. I mean, we all know she’s not the brightest bulb in the box- I’m still staring in bafflement at her Twitter page and wondering what possessed her to pick that picture of herself, and what it was supposed to convey exactly other than “uhhhhhhhh, I have a plastic butterfly glued to my forehead” but still, she seems like a decent human being. It makes it even more unnecessary to take so many swipes at her when she is sharing the loss of her pet.

I guess this one hits home for me a little more than usual. I spent last night listening to a pack of coyotes howling in the distance before getting up and shutting all the windows. I may make light of my stupid cat and her terrible timing and my certainty she is one with the coyote in the great circle of life, but I would be pretty angry if someone else took it upon themselves to make that joke about my pet on my behalf.

I’ll keep hoping for you too, Jessica. It doesn’t hurt anyone to hope.