Most Barbies only come out once or twice: NASCAR Barbie, Astronaut Barbie, Spongebob Barbie, etc. But there are some that, for obvious reasons, keep coming back in multiple incarnations for each new generation of starry eyed little girls. This is why I have 5 versions of Pet Vet Barbie.

The old ones weren’t so bad. Why each successive one has been stranger and stranger is open to postulation, but even I couldn’t explain what the heck Mattel was thinking with their latest offering of Pet Vet Barbie.

I know they know how to make a vaguely appropriate outfit for a medical office, as evidenced by the new Kid Doctor Barbie on the right. Kid Doctor: sleek, professional, bouffant-ed. Pet Doctor: ponytailed truck stop hash-slinger. What gives?

My theory is this:

Ad Man: Well, we showed the Mel’s Diner Barbie to the focus group and they just didn’t get it.

Executive1: Well shoot! We just made 500,000 diner uniforms and we can’t let them go to waste! What can we do?

Executive2: *shuffling through sales stats* Slap some cardboard cats in the pockets and call it a vet. People eat that stuff up.

Kids These Days

I hear the new grad is starting today! Have you met her yet?

No, but Dr. Peppered had nothing but nice things to say about her.

Here she comes! Be nice!

Hi! I’m Kendra! It’s so nice to meet you.

Charmed. I like your….lab coat, is that?

Oh, this? ha ha…I put myself through vet school working at Kenny’s so I figured I’d just repurpose it. You really like it?

I was…ooops! Clumsy me. Hang on a second, I dropped my clipboard.

Oh, let me grab that for you.

Oh my God. Am I seeing what I think I’m seeing?

Yeah, and you gave *me* a hard time.

Oh yes, thank you. Well, welcome to the clinic! Allow us to welcome you with our official scrubs.

And a stethoscope. They didn’t even give you that, huh?